Friday, August 28, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
See the caboose with the lookout window? It made it totally worth it for Jackson! I'm so glad his first trip to the dentist was a great experience and that he did wonderful.
I hope y'all have a great day and I'll see you tomorrow!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
I found this list of All-time Favorites from Ruminations.com on Grass Stains yesterday, and I proceeded to crack up laughing. They are so funny (and true) that I just had to share. Tell me which are your favorites in the comments section. I put an * by my favorites, and I had plenty of them. Enjoy!
*I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase “Regards” again.
*Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQs. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.
*There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.
The other night I hit a new low at an open bar. I had already hopped on highway blackout when, inevitably I had to find a bathroom. Eventually I decided it was probably on the other side of the bar so I tried to walk over there, but ran into a guy coming the other way. We played that, both go left, both go right game to no avail, so I finally put out my hand to guide myself past and that’s is when I realized, yup, that’s a mirror I just tried to walk through. And the guy on the other side is me. Even cats can recognize their own image.
*I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
Was learning cursive really necessary?
*LOL has gone from meaning “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say.”
I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
*Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart.”
How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?
*I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a loser from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
*Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using ‘as in’ examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss’s last name to an attorney and said “Yes that’s G as in…(10 second lapse)...ummm…Goonies.”
*While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks, Mario Kart.
*MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
*Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
Bad decisions make good stories.
*Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!
Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
*Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem….
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
*Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.
****There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
“Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever.
I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There’s so much pressure. "I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It’s only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?"
*While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don’t win, they are executed.
I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
When I meet a new girl, I’m terrified of mentioning something she hasn’t already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
*Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles…
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
*Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
*It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
*Even if I knew your Social Security Number, I wouldn’t know what do to with it.
It really ticks me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
Mrs. Deanna: "We were talking about policemen today and Jackson told me about the time that you had to call the police to help get him out of a tree."
Jeremy: "Ummm.....excuse me?"
Mrs. Deanna: "Yeah, he told us that he had climbed into a tree and he got way too high and got stuck, so you had to call the police to come help. The policeman couldn't help so he called the firemen and then the firemen came out to your house. Jackson told me they brought the ladder truck and as they were raising it it was making a 'ssssshhhhhhh' sound. When they got the ladder up, the firemen climbed the ladder and got him out of the tree."
Jeremy: "I hate to tell you this, but that's a bedtime story Jackson's heard."
As Jeremy was telling me this story I was dying laughing. I immediately knew this was a "Reroy" story, but Jeremy told me that Mrs. Deanna was more than a little concerned about the thought of Jackson getting stuck in a tree.
And just think, he's only three years old. Imagine what he's going to come up with when he's a teenager!
Monday, August 24, 2009
Amy's parents quickly learned to adjust to this need, but the problem never really got any better. In fact Amy's first thoughts when waking up in the morning were of food. When she was going to get some,what she would eat, and then what her next meal was going to be. She would also barely let her mother get into the door after work before she would start badgering her about "what are we going to eat for supper tonight" because "I'm so hungry and I can't wait anymore!"
One might call her very predictable.
One also might call her a pain in the hiney.
Then Amy grew up and had a child of her own. She quickly figured out that, rightfully so, Jackson had to be fed before she could eat. And she also figured out that Jackson liked to eat now, and not 5 minutes from now, but she had no idea where he got that from! She quickly learned to be prepared before Jackson was supposed to be awake to have a bottle ready for when those baby blues popped open, otherwise chaos would ensue.
Then Jackson learned to talk.
Now Amy is facing parental karma of the worst kind when about 10 seconds after Jackson wakes up in the morning he's saying, "Hey Momma....I want some cereal!" and 15 seconds after getting Jackson into the car after school he's asking "what are we going to eat for supper tonight?" and throwing fits as soon as he gets into the house because, "I waaannnnttttt soommmeeee gooooollllllddddffffiiiisssshhhh" and Amy's panicking because "there is absolutely no way short of miracle to get supper done in 15 minutes, and no, you cannot have goldfish this close to supper because it will ruin your appetite and for the love can I just breathe for a minute!"
And Amy's mother is laughing hysterically about the whole thing....
Friday, August 21, 2009
So last night there really was a shark in my living room.
Get In My Belly!!!
Even Macy got in on the fun!
And it was great fun until it was actually time for Jackson to go to bed at which point a total meltdown began.
And y'all, I want to formally introduce my amazing sister Kellyn to the blog-o-sphere. She, with a little help and
harassment encouragement from her big sister, has started her own blog at Gibsonville. Everyone needs to hop over there and welcome her to blogging! Have a great Friday!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Take a stinky, sweaty child and place into the bathtub.
Throw in some bubbles and about 642 bath tub toys.
Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
Argue with said child that after 30 minutes of pruning it is time to get out and deny his request for "just 5 more minutes."
Get child dressed despite having to chase after a naked preschooler!
Add one bowl of Cheddar cheese rice cakes
Throw in reading about 10 Thomas books
And 47 Bible Stories
And set the timer on the microwave to go off in 10 minutes.
After the timer goes off, deny any requests for "just 5 more minutes."
Brush teeth. Spit. Rinse.
Take the child to bed.
Argue with the child about not reading more stories.
Give in and read "just one more book."
Put 19 stuffed animals into the child's bed.
Wait for the child to throw all the animals out of the bed.
Pick up the animals again after the child stops crying because "he neeeeeeds his animals."
Leave the room.
Go back 5 minutes later to sing Jesus Loves Me.
Leave the room.
Send Daddy in as a reinforcement.
1 hour after the process begins, the child finally falls asleep!
Have a child look as sweet as this sleeping: Priceless!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
And because I may forget to write this down in a Jackson's baby book, he is now 37 1/4 inches tall and weighs 32.8 pounds. He has grown 4 inches and gained 4 pounds in a year.
Anyways, the flaky nurse asked if Jackson was potty trained and I was so happy to be able to say yes. She then asked if I thought Jackson would be willing to give a urine sample since they have never gotten one before. I didn't think it would be a problem so I took Jackson down the hall into the bathroom and told him that he needed to potty into the cup for the doctor.
You would have thought that he had died and gone to Heaven when he realized that he was about to tee-tee in a cup. He grinned like a Cheshire cat the entire time he was filling that cup up.
When he got done finished doing his business, I sat the cup on the counter and started helping him get his clothes back up. As I was washing my hands he looked at the cup then looked up at me and said, "Momma, we're not supposed to drink that!"
Truer words have never been spoken....
And yes, Jackson wanted to tee-tee in a cup again this morning, and no, it's not gonna happen in my house!
Monday, August 17, 2009
Perhaps this would be a good time to interrupt my story to mention that our dog Macy has a problem drinking water and dripping it all over the floor.
And perhaps this would be a good time to mention that we have a linoleum floor in our kitchen.
And perhaps this would be a good time to mention that Jeremy was walking barefooted through our kitchen and stepped in the before mentioned puddle.
And it may or may not have looked a lot like this:
And Jeremy crashed onto the floor and landed on his right elbow.
The same elbow that was broken when he was a kid during Bible Drill. Remind me to tell you that story later.
And the same elbow that Jeremy had surgery on during high school when he was playing baseball.
I ran into the kitchen and saw Jeremy laying on the floor and he asked me to help him up. I distinctly remember telling him that I didn't think I could support all his weight with only one hand when Jeremy had me try to get him up anyways.
And it probably didn't help him at all that when I tried to help him up with only one hand that his hand slipped out of mine and he fell back on the same elbow again.
Jeremy insisted that he was "fine" and that he would see the doctor on Saturday, so we ate supper at Cici's pizza and after watching Jeremy try to eat left handed and be miserable every time he moved his right arm, Jeremy and I headed to Primed. We got there and saw a sign on the door that said "Our X-Ray machine is down. If you feel you need X-ray's, please go to the E.R."
So we went to the ER, otherwise known as the land of Swine Flu. I was nauseated with the amount of germs we were exposing ourselves to. I couldn't help but think that "Jeremy's gonna have a broken elbow and I'm gonna get the swine flu" from this whole ordeal all because Macy dripped water on the floor.
And FYI Moms: Please, for the love of all things right and good in the world, teach your kids to cover their mouth when they are coughing and sneezing, especially when it appears that they have the swine flu.
3 hours later Jeremy got his x-rays which the doctor pronounced as "Good. No breaks."
After a total of 5 hours we were sent home at 12:30 in the morning with a sling. Jeremy stayed out of work on Saturday and was miserable. He attempted to go to work on Sunday and came home. After several hours of watching his arm start to swell really badly and getting very feverish we decided to try Primed again. Jeremy said the pain was still an 11 on a scale of 1 to 10. Neither of us were fully convinced that his arm wasn't broken despite the ER doctor's declaration.
Jeremy waited at Primed for an hour and still had a 4-5 hour wait ahead of him, so we packed up and headed back to the land of Swine Flu, which by this time had lots of new residents wearing masks.
Is it possible to bathe in hand sanitizer?
So we finally get into a room in the ER and see the exact same doctor as Friday night. Guess what? He was a jerk then, and he was a jerk last night!
We showed him the swelling and redness in Jeremy's arm and the doctor decided that new x-rays's weren't necessary because "it won't show us anything new" so he ran some blood work instead thinking that Jeremy might have an infection. I asked him what would have caused an infection in Jeremy's arm if nothing was broken and he didn't have an answer for me. I've watched enough episodes of House to know when a doctor doesn't know what's wrong with you, and this doctor was clearly just grasping at straws.
Jeremy's blood work came back okay, but he gave Jeremy IV antibiotics and steroids and sent us home again with instructions to go see an orthopedic today. I called at 7:00 this morning and got Jeremy an appointment with an orthopedic doctor and Jeremy went in for the appointment at 10:00 this morning. The doctor pulled the x-rays the ER had taken on Friday night, took one look at them, and said, "You have a fracture on the radial head of your elbow and a torn ligament."
Stupid ER doctors....
Jeremy did not get a cast because the orthopedic doesn't want his arm to stiffen so he sent Jeremy home in a sling and is going to see him again in 3 weeks (right after our beach trip) to see how he's doing, and Jeremy has to start flexing his arm to maintain movement.
Once again...What stupid ER doctors.
And just think; all this ER fun is before Obamacare starts!!!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
A cutie even in the midst of a tantrum!
You and your umbrella!
Happy Birthday Jackson!!!
3 years ago today I knew that I would love a child with my whole heart, but I had no idea the depth of that love.
3 years ago today I knew that in less than 24 hours I would forever change my life by having a baby, but I had no idea how completely it would change me, and more so, that I would love the "new" me.
3 years ago today I was still a woman pregnant for the first time, feeling Jackson kick inside me and waiting for the induction to get started at midnight. Now, I'm a tried and true veteran of labor who would do anything and everything for her child.
And it's been so worth it....
Jackson: "Dr. Doodle says shut up."
Me: "That's right he did, but that is not a nice word, so he got put in time out. We don't say shut up."
Jackson: "Dr. Doodle got in time out because he said shut up. I'm not supposed to say shut up."
Me: "No, we don't say that word."
Jackson: "Daddy doesn't say shut up."
Me: "No, he doesn't because we don't say that word!"
Jackson: "You don't say shut up."
Me: "Nope, because we don't say that word!"
Jackson: "But I don't say shut up!"
Me: "We don't say that word!"
Jackson: "Dr. Doodle says shut up."
I eventually gave up talking it out with Jackson because after chasing that rabbit for awhile, it was time for me to shut up!
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
The Monkey Invitation (minus our specifics)
The Birthday Boy in Action!
He was a moving target the entire party!
Our Monkey Climbing!
Taking a little rest!
And his sweet sister, Maddie
Layton (wearing an adorable monkey shirt!)
Mason and Gracie
Our other Chloe
Time for cake!
He got so shy while we were singing "Happy Birthday" to him!
Enjoying cake and ice cream
Time for presents!
The Wade/Wade/Knight Families!
The Moore/Wade/Gibson families!
And this was how I felt when the party was over!