Monday, October 28, 2013

I Promise I'm Alive

I've had a super busy week getting started at my new job, and I'm going to really like it. Everyone was super nice, and once I figure out what I'm doing, it's going to be perfect for me. Right up my alley for sure, and I'm so happy that I made the decision. I miss so many of my old coworkers, but this was a good move for me! I may be hit and miss with my posting for a few days, but here are some fall pics of the boys to tide you over until I'm back in my routine. Have a great day!

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Live From Jacksonville

Jackson is at such a fun age to me. At seven years old, he's old enough to have a real conversation with him, and he's still young enough to be innocent sweet, and he still loves his Mama so much! Here are a few funnies he's given us lately!

(Walking to Jordan Hare Stadium from our parked car) Jackson: "These legs of mine didn't get plugged in to their charger last night, so their battery is running low. I'm gonna need a ride on someone's shoulders for me to make it to the stadium and back."

(On hearing Anderson crying for no reason): Jackson: "Mom, seriously, can you make your kid quit crying? He's giving me a headache. Do I need to put him in time out?"

(On bullies) Jackson: "You know my friend _____?" Well, he bullied me today. I'm not going to tolerate that kind of behavior."

(On my ban on scary costumes for Halloween) Jackson: "Well, can I be a scary zombie for Halloween when I'm 27?"

(On growing up) Jackson: "I'm ready to grow up, but can I fall asleep in your bed tonight?"

I love that big boy of mine, more than words can describe!

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

Enjoying some Pumpkin Patch fun with my two favorite little boys!

Friday, October 11, 2013

A Journey Two Years In The Making

*I'm posting this today with the complete support, encouragement and blessing of Jeremy, because this is his story, and not mine, and I would never share it without his permission.

Sometimes life takes you down paths and roads that are so difficult and arduous that you fear you will never come out whole on the other side; that you will never see the light at the end of the tunnel. Jeremy and I began a journey two years ago today that was one of the most difficult experiences we have had as a married couple, and when the process began, we didn't know what would be at the end of the road when we got there. Two years ago today, on October 11th, Jeremy made the most selfless decision that he's ever made, and admitted himself to an inpatient rehab program for addiction to prescription medication. Jackson was a new kindergarten student, and Anderson was a tiny 4 month old baby.

In an instant, our whole life was rocked to the core. We made the choice to tell Jackson that Jeremy was on an extended work trip, and he was in treatment for 16 days. It was the longest time of my life, and I cried more than I ever thought was possible at the fear of what was going to happen to our family. Overnight it felt like everything in our entire world was shattered. Jeremy and I had the support of our families, very close friends, some amazing bloggy friends (you know who you are!), and some church members that we felt needed to know. We were fiercely private about who was in the know during this time, mostly because we didn't want the world knowing our business, when we didn't know which end was up. It quite honestly felt like I was being tossed in an ocean of overwhelming emotions, and I didn't know when, or if, I was going to be able to come up for air.

Jeremy received some amazing treatment, learned coping skills, and began his 12 step journey. I was able to attend family classes that taught me about the disease of addiction. In my mind, it was as simple as making a choice. In those classes I learned what a true demon addiction is, and it opened my eyes to the battle Jeremy had been fighting. I had to learn to deal with so many fierce emotions related to Jeremy's problem: anger, sadness, grief, name it, I felt it. I've never been so sad and angry in my life, and it's very hard as a mom to put on a happy face when you are in front of your kids, when all you want to do is curl up in a ball and cry.

During his treatment time, we did allow Jackson to talk to Jeremy on the phone, and I was able to visit Jeremy during visitation times. It was very hard, but we all knew that Jeremy was doing what he had to do to get better. It was his time to be selfish in order to be a better person. After he was released he began an intensive outpatient program that involved spending many nights a week away from us, but as hard as it was, we knew that Jeremy was doing what he had to do. He got hooked up with a very good sponsor, and continued working his steps. It's been a very long journey, but Jeremy has been doing amazingly well.

Jeremy got a text from his sponsor last night and all it said was, "U Good?" Jeremy responded back, "Sure am! Doing great!" His sponsor replied, "God is good!"

Yes, God is good. All the time. In the midst of trials and tribulations in life it's really easy to shake your fists at God and say, "Why me?" "What did I do to deserve this?" I personally never would have chosen this path, but I firmly believe that God allows us to go through things that are uncomfortable and downright painful for reasons that are far beyond things we will ever understand. Because Jeremy and I have walked this path, we have been able to help others that are currently beginning the same journey. Because I, as a wife of an addict, and Jeremy, as an addict, have been there, we can share our experiences in a way that someone who has never been there will never fully understand. It's been two years, and we are just now getting comfortable in telling people, "I've been there! I know exactly what you are feeling!" Neither of us are ashamed of our journey because God has kept us intact throughout it, and I think that Jeremy is such a wonderful husband and father. Our marriage is strong, our family is happy and we are both doing very good. Maybe, just maybe, God allowed us to walk our journey through the fire in order to show others that yes, you might get burned a little bit during this journey, but burns heal, and you too will heal.

Addiction is, and always will be, a journey that we will always walk. It doesn't appear overnight, and it doesn't ever disappear. We will always have to keep mindful of things that the average person will never have to worry about, but we are aware and cautious at every turn in the road. Two years clean and sober is such a great accomplishment and I'm so very proud of Jeremy. With God, all things are possible, and Jeremy and I are living proof of that.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Weekly Confession (Round 2)

So my sweet friend Kassie messaged me how much she enjoyed my confessions this week, so just to make her smile, here are a few more!

  • I desperately wanted Jackson and Anderson to be boys from Duck Dynasty for Halloween. I mean seriously, how cute would that be? Camo, beards, a Si tea glass! Jackson, on the other hand, was hell-bent on being a Ninja (just like last year) because he was afraid people would laugh at him for wearing a beard. Kids developing their own opinion is so overrated.
  • I can never remember how to spell "angel" and "angle" without writing them out. How lame is that?
  • I'm itching for a new tattoo. Problem is, the I don't know what, or where. I definitely want something that can be easily hidden, but I'm at a loss right now. Guess I'll just keep on dreaming!
  • I've kept my weight loss hovering around 74 pounds, and I've gotten rid of most of my larger clothes to keep me from being tempted to ever gain a few pounds back. I cleaned my closet out and rearranged it the other day, and y'all, I have hardly anything to wear this fall and winter. I'm in trouble! I have 2 pairs of jeans, 2 dress pants, and ZERO dresses that fit me well right now. Between the weight loss and the new job, I'm gonna be broke!
  • I got a new job! I start in a week at an accounting firm in Montgomery in administration, and I'm so excited! I've thoroughly loved having my current job, and I've had the chance to meet people from all over Alabama that otherwise I never would have met. I've explored my state (125,000 miles in 3 1/2 years), and can navigate east Alabama like the back of my hand. It's been great and I'm definitely going to miss so many of my coworkers, but this was an opportunity I just couldn't pass up.  
  • I'm heading to Auburn again this weekend to perform in the alumni band. Once a band geek, always a band geek!
  • I have to initial some of Jackson's homework every night, and Jackson commented yesterday that I hadn't put my "W" on his paper. I told him that my initials are "AMW" and Jeremy responded, "Ya know, if your last name was Yang, your initials would be AMY." I responded, "The same would be true if my last name was Young and it's a heck of a lot more common around here than Yang." (Insert crickets from Jeremy)
Anything y'all need to confess?

Tuesday, October 08, 2013

Weekly Confessions

It's been a long time coming, but here are my weekly confessions:
  • I got behind a van the other day with a license plate that said, "Im God." I was more than a little surprised that God would be driving a late 90's model minivan. If anything, I would assume that He would drive a hybrid SUV of some sort. Trendy, without trying too hard.
  • Jackson's school is selling cookie dough right now as a fundraiser. I've resorted to begging online. I'm so embarrassed by my tactics, but not enough to "not" do it.
  • We went to the fair last night. I thoroughly enjoyed a slice of pizza and an order of nachos. My scales did not enjoy me this morning.
  • I'm heading to Auburn this weekend to be part of the Auburn University Alumni Band again. I'm so excited, and will proudly admit that I'm such a band geek!
  • Jackson got a tattoo of a tiger at the fair last night. He's 7 and he is dying to get a real tattoo. When he's an adult, this should be lots of fun! My only rules for him in regards to tattoos: they must be "tasteful" meaning that they cannot be gory, and they have to be hidden if he's wearing a t-shirt. It's bad that he's 7 and he already knows these rules!
Any confessions you want to make?!?

Friday, October 04, 2013

Out With The Old, In With The New

Way back in the year of our Lord 1998, I was given a laundry basket filled to the brim with cleaning supplies as a high school graduation gift. It was a super gift because it was so incredibly useful. That laundry basket went with me to Auburn in the fall of 1998 as a freshman, moved with me to Birmingham when Jeremy and I got married, made the journey back to Prattville, then to our current home. The basket has made it's fair share of trips to and from the laundry room, to and from Mississippi as an extra suitcase for kids stuff, served as a "car" and "airplane" for two rowdy boys, and finally, after 15 years of faithful service, bit the dust the other day. It had been slowly wearing down for awhile now, but out of sheer loyalty I kept her around because I couldn't bear to throw her away. After she finally broke apart to a point I can't use her anymore to tote my laundry around the house, I had to call it quits. I went to Wal-Mart and found a new version, a laundry mistress of sorts, and Old Reliable has been replaced by a stylish newer model for only $7.98.
I'll never forget all her years of being a dutiful aid to my laundry escapades, but the times, they are a 'changing, and I'm not one to stand in the way of progress. Fairwell old friend, it's been nice knowing you....

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