Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Backwards Day

Today is a Backwards edition of WFMW over at Rocks in my Dryer. That means that I get to post a problem that I have, and hopefully someone out there in blog world can help me solve it. I actually have two things going on that I need some help with

Here’s the first issue: Our son Jackson is almost 19 months old. I swore that we would lose his pacifier (also known as “dat”) when he turned 1 year old. Now, 7 months later, he is still firmly attached to his pacifier, and unfortunately, I must admit that I am kinda attached to it also. Does anyone have any advice on how to get rid of the pacifier? I know it’s not going to be fun or easy to lose it, but it needs to go.

The other thing is that Jackson has really bad eczema. We have tried most of the expensive lotions, creams, and baby bath that claim to treat eczema (several from our pediatrician), and they have worked for a little while, but then it comes back again. Is there anything that has worked really well at clearing up eczema for you or your children? His skin was really clear during the summer last year (apparently chlorine water is really good for it), and we are just wanting something to tide us over until swimming season again. The winter weather is killing us!

Thanks for any advice you can offer. I hope you have a great day, and come back to visit me soon!

36 random thoughts:

Tracy said...

With two of my kids, those that I had the good sense to actually use the 'binky' with, I was firm in my resolve to not allow beyond one. Well, it's funny how EVERYBODY grows to rely on them...
Oddly enought, with both kids, we thought we lost the binkies at around 14-15 mos. Maybe it was a mental game, but the bottom line was it made us go cold turkey. Both babies certainly had a funky week or so. But, largely painless.
Toss it out the car window. Lock it in your safe deposit box. Do whatever makes it easiest to stop all together without having it within easy reach.
It sounds hard. But it's easier now than trying to convince a much more sophisticated four year old....

Laura said...

My littlest guy has severe eczema...it is very frustrating. We are determined not to use steroids and cortizones, as they have terrible side effects later in life. So, we still struggle with it, but we found that black current seed oil does help, both taken orally and rubbed on his skin. Also, you can try grapefruit seed extract.

I am really looking forward to sunshine around here, because that is a great healer too! Winter is so hard on eczema!

Hope your little guy clears up!

danadiaries said...

If he's playing happily, take it out of his mouth and say how handsome his smile is. Then throw it away or at least make it hard to find. Definitely make it such that you have to make a conscious decision to give it to him.

Janelle

pianomomsicle said...

i have a friend whose parents cured her little sister of the pacifier by cutting the tip of all of them. When she said she wanted it, they'd give it to her, but as it had lost all the gentle pillow feeling, she didn't care about it anymore and lost interest without blaming her parents for taking it away.

Annette said...

if he's old enough to understand something is broken...put a hole in it. it won't work right...he'll ask..you say oh..it's broken, what do we do with broken things? Throw them out. Good job son! Throwing out broken things. All done. DON"T go out and buy a new one! :)

OR....taken from "the nanny". Have child mail the soother to someone in need (fake or real). Next day he can go to the mail to receive a thank you present back! Good boy! Works best if you have a mail box outside your door. :)

Caroline said...

I had two out of five attached to their pacifier. When we changed the kids out of their baby beds and into their BIG beds which was very exciting in our house that is when we made the switch. The pacifier was for the baby bed and the now he/she was a big kid and the pacifier COULDN'T go in the big bed.

The child would give me the pacy as we were taking down the crib. We would make it a big deal and let the child pick out their favorite sheets for the big bed. IT was so overwhelming going to the big bed that they didn't fuss about their pacy.

They never asked for the pacy but on of my children asked for the baby bed back. ;-)

I honestly think it was harder on me than them. They were ready for the transition which was about two years old. :-(

Andrea said...

We left it out under the tree for the "pacifier fairy." We left him a little gift to show that the "fairy" came to pick it up for all the other babies that would need it. He never asked about it again!

And, on the eczema, my oldest has it (he's allergic to everything) and they told us to use anything natural (neutrogena, I think is the one we've used) without synthetic ingredients. This worked for him. It sounds like you've tried the prescriptions so I can't recommend those. Also, maybe bathing every other day? That's helped a friend of ours with the same problem. That's a tough one and it's not fun for them either! I hope you find something that works!

suzzcq70 said...

A friend tied the binky to a helium balloon and let it go outside. They made a big deal out of it. Bye Bye Binky!

Someone Being Me said...

I can't help you with the binky because I just quit offering it at 4 months. As for the eczema I use Gentle Naturals Baby Eczema Cream, Fragrance Free. It is a little greasy going on but it is the best thing I have found for my son's sensitive skin.

Jeni said...

We just finished our Binky-weaning for our 17 month old daughter this week!

First, about a week and a half ago, I rounded up all the Binkies and snipped about half of the bulb off. A few days later, I snipped most of the rest of the bulb off. She still used the Binky, but not with the same enthusiasm as before.

Then, after several days of only having a stub of a Binky, I just didn't give it to her for her naps & bedtime. She asked for it a couple of times, but was asleep without it in minutes. It worked really well!

Good luck!

Sarah said...

I can't help with the binkie thing. I'm trying to break my 5.5 yo to stop sucking her thumb. I can't just throw that out the window.

However, my 2 yo had very severe eczema from birth to 2. She had open sores, on her arms, legs and face. They itched like crazy so that whenever they started to heal she would ripe them open itching them and they would bleed.

If they are severe, I would look into the allergist or a holistic practitioner who can do kinesiology to figure out what the allergies are, so you can avoid those foods. CranialSacrail Therapy also works great www.upledger.com. I use Borage Seed lotion and that seemed to work the best. You'll proabaly have to go to a health food store to find it. Also Calendula Cream from Heel works great too. Be careful about the grapefruit seed extract it can burn the skin if used undiluted and I don't think is even recommended until kids are older.

Edi said...

we did away w/my son's "plug" in stages. I actually thought of getting rid of it when he was one - but let him keep it til he was 2... ANyway - maybe when he was about 1 or 1.5 I changed it so he could only have his plug in the crib (naptime, bedtime) and sometimes in the car. He loved going to bed/nap - hmmm I wonder why...when the plug was gone, naptime/bedtime wasn't so fun anymore.

So I think we kept talking about it then when he turned 2 it was time to get rid of it and that we would give his "plugs" to his new baby cousin.

He was soooooo attached to his plugs yet he didn't fuss about giving it up at all!! I was amazed.

I've also heard you can poke a hole in it so that you can't suck and that makes the kids want to give it up...

Sarah said...

I have some experience with both issues:
My son (now 3.5) was EXTREMELY attached to his pacifier, or "binky." When his dentist said that it was affecting his bite at age 2, we knew we had to get rid of it. The timing was hard, though, since his baby brother arrived the same month. We decided to let him keep the binky during the first couple of months of the new-baby-transition, and then we used the "Binky Fairy" trick. We gave him a couple of days warning that the Binky Fairy would be coming to take his binky and leave him a gift. When he went out with his babysitter during the day, I threw out ALL of the binkies, and left him a note from the binky fairy with a special toy. We thought he would have a hard time, since he was so dependent on it to fall asleep, but he surprised us by taking it in stride. Now, whenever we fly on an airplane, he looks out the window for the Binky Fairy. With a younger child, you may not need such an elaborate story, but I think the key is getting rid of all of them at once (a little scary for the parent, too!)

As for the eczema, has your son been tested for food allergies? Our son is allergic to wheat, eggs, and peanuts, and his main reaction to these foods is eczema. Until we changed his diet, the creams/lotions didn't work for him either.

Amanda said...

Pacifier fairy worked for my aunt's kids. As for the eczema, my son has it on his eyes and I put marshmallow cream from Burt's bees on it.

Miranda said...

Amy,
I totally agree with edi in phasing out the pacifier in stages. How often does he get it at daycare? When my mom kept Gracie, she started by taking it away during the day when Gracie didn't need it. And you will be SHOCKED at how much more they will talk/babble when you do this!
Anyway, she is almost 2 1/2 and still has her pacifier, but ONLY during nap and bedtime.
Try this weekend when you're off. Take it away (we always told Gracie "You don't NEED that!" and would playfully take it away in the morning.) Tell him what a big boy he is. We always told Gracie that only babies need pappies.
Try distracting him with something else, and then at naptime you can give it back. When he gets up, take it away and don't give it back until bedtime.
He is guaranteed to ask for it several times, so be prepared to tell him whatever necessary. We always told Gracie we didn't know where it was, or we lost it. Eventually she caught on, and now she is ONLY asking for it when it's bedtime.
However, I am hoping by her third birthday to have her rid of it completely.

As far as eczema, I have a terrible case too and Gracie actually has a mild case. They say not to bathe them alot because it dries their skin out, but I just use lots of lotion. How can you NOT bathe a 2 year old?? We have tried several different kinds, Aveeno cream seems to work well. I think they make it for babies. Or buy one of the moisturizing baby washes and see if that helps a little.

Hope this helps! I honestly wouldn't worry too much with the pacifier, expect that Gracie having her constantly caused her to not talk quite as often. Now you can't get her to STOP talking! :)

The Sapersteins said...

Hayden was on his passy until he was three, the doctor recommend the cutting the tips, and no! That didn't work for us, he would throw more of a fit, so the next thing we tried was I bought a big calender (spaces big for Jackson to see) and on Monday put a big 5, Tuesday 4, etc down to 0, Everyday mark off that day with a bright marker, and tell Jackson "ok __ more days and the passy is going in the trash." Then on Saturday day 0, make a game of collecting all the passies and take them to the trash. Hayden did this with no problem! He hasn't asked for one since!!
The skin issue, the three kids have it here also, it's horrible!! We have tried everything. I was told to try Gold Bond Ultimate softening with Shea Butter. I tried it with Anthony, every night before bed he gets all lotioned up, and within two days, it was all gone! He had it all over his legs, arms. I worked great!

Let me know what happens:)

lisa (lost pezhead) said...

we lost my son's when he was 16 mon...we actually bought him a new one and he did not want it. the other one he'd had so long it got worn out and i guess the new one felt too hard. so he gave it up. my daughter on the other hand was over 2 and would take any binky in the world. finally i had to just throw them all away and we said oh no, we can't find binky! she cried the first night a long time, but then was fine. she'd mention it some and we'd say ok let's look for binky, but never found it.

i've heard of doign a binky fairy also, i don't know if a 19 mo old would understand it though. also cutting the end of the nipple off and saying oh look binky is broken.

sarah said...

our boys have had difficulty with eczema as well. a few things we've done that helped....used all clear - stopped using dryer sheets with their clothes - only hypoallergenic baby wash (huggies or j&j has worked fine) - limited baths to every other night or every 2 nights - used florasone ointment on the patches (found at a dietary or whole foods store - all natural and homeopathic) - give them flaxseed oil (squeezed the liquid from the gel cap into some yogurt or applesauce every couple nights, bath nights usually) - we too tried everything and none of it worked. these things work for us! good luck!

HopewellMomSchool said...

When my now 41 year old little cousin was 7 [yes, you read that right--S E V E N] her Dad planted her "ippy" in the backyard and she sincerely believed him that it would grow an "ippy tree." My all time favorite story to torture her with to this day!

Melonie said...

We used Jason lotion on my son's face at first for eczema and it helped a little; I switched to the new Aveeno lotion specifically for eczema and it has helped a GREAT deal. It's not in with the baby lotions; I found it at Target in the first aid/itch cream section. Oatmeal baths and regular gentle Aveeno (oatmeal colloidal I think they call it) worked well for my girls who didn't have it on their faces, but only in the crooks of their elbows/knees - the sweaty "hot spots" where lots of kids get it.

AS for the binky, my daughter had a visit from the binky fairy when she was 2-ish. All the binks went in a little Easter basket and before she put them in, she gave each a little kiss. That night the Binky Fairy came to take the binkies and give them to brand new babies who didn't have binkies yet at the hospital. ;-) The next day she woke up to some little treats like bathtub paint and such in the basket - one treat for each binky. This was after a gentle weaning to where she only used the binky at night to fall asleep - I would check on her at naptime and bedtime and the moment she wasn't sucking on it or it plopped out of her mouth while she was asleep, I quietly took it and moved it away. Each night I moved it further and further so she couldn't get it back in the middle of the night in her sleep. Ultimately she didn't use them for the naps any more, only bedtime; that's when the BF came. :-)

Little Piddles said...

A few ways to help with gettign rid of the pacifier are...

Having a little party. Just buy some cute cups and plates and maybe some balloons.

Telling him that you need to give it away to other babies. If you know someone with a baby maybe have him give a bag full of all his to the baby.

For eczema I use Dreft or Tide Free detergent. I also don't use any fabric softner. For bubble baths I use Johnson and Johnson or California Baby (they are also great for people who are UTI prone. I use the Eucerine vaseline like stuff when my daughter's skin gets dry and for the most part by doign all these things she never really breaks out. Good luck!

Southern Fried Mom said...

First, is it you who are concerned with getting rid of "dat" or are you receiving pressure in the way of unsolicited advice....that is precisely why I allowed Fat Baby to ride the paccy train until the ripe old age of 3. Everytime somebody made a remark about it, I let him keep it another week. Control freak...um, yeah. When we finally decided to taper off & lost the last one, we just toughed it out. After he'd slept without it for 3 or 4 nights, we agreed that he wouldn't get it back even if one turned up. Attached as he was, it really wasn't a huge deal in the end...now if I could just get him to potty train!!!! Also, pay attention to his cues...The President gave up his paccy at 9 months without a blink--he could take it or leave it. But, I had a terrible time getting him off the bottle & onto a sippy cup. (Had to go out of town without bottles & force ourselves to do it---we were ALL miserable!) I just handed Fat Baby a cup & he was done with the bottle...

My sister did a really cute thing, though, if you really want to do it now...it's a perfect opportunity. She left the binky out for the Easter Bunny & told my nephew that the baby bunnies needed it.

Now...about the eczema. I have a friend (I can hook you up) who sells Arbonne & they have a baby line that is supposed to be totally great for that. E-mail me if you want more info.

~Rhen said...

I didn't read the other comments so I am not sure what advice you have been given on eczema but here is what we know. I have it (all my life), several of my kids have. The two main aggravants of eczema are pork and stress. Get rid of them both. After baths or showers lotion down with a good organic lotion. If it has methylparaben or any paraben in it get it away from you! Bad stuff!!! Just clean the area well with a washcloth, lotion it up and allow it to heal. My children now rarely have flare ups and it has been a couple of years for me. I am so happy. It would cover my hands and then they would crack and bleed. Ugh. I couldn't do anything. I hope this helps!!!

Muddy said...

With my daughter and her "binky", one day (at 22 months) she threw her binky at me as I headed out of her room at naptime. I picked it up and took it with me. She just went on to sleep. I figured that she would ask for it for bedtime (and did). I told her that she "threw it away" and it was gone. She accepted that and there was no more talk of binky. Of course I hid it and packed her last one in her baby things. I think we got out lucky in her letting go. She probably could have gone without it for naps and bedtime sooner, except I didnt push it as we had a baby that same summer and just felt I should let it slide.

Oh and before this incident, after she turned one, we only let her have it in the bed for a nap or bedtime. We never let her just sit around the house with it in her mouth. She had to keep it in the bed. For us it worked to control it somewhat. (either that or she was just that complacent)

BridgeMom said...

We weaned the paci down to only naps & bedtime. Neither cutting it nor the fairy idea worked for my strong-willed child!

Hubby and I went on a trip and left him with grandparents for two nights. The change of environment seemed to do the trick. They never offered it to him and he didn't ask! He came home and never asked for it again.

AutumnFawn said...

Both my second and third child have had eczema. I am so sorry you are dealing with this. It is no fun.

I personally never used anything the medical doctors recommended. I tried lots of natural things.

I went to the health food store to buy all of their bath products: lotions, shampoos, bath gel etc. I just tried to find the most natural stuff possible! I have even used Arbonne baby products, and those seemed to work well on their skin.

I gave them an acidophilus supplement, and sometimes added a fish oil supplement for kids.

I gave them goat's milk instead of cow's milk. Now I actually buy raw cow's milk from a local farm. It isn't supposed to irritate eczema like pasteurized milk.

I have also heard/read that food coloring and other food additives can irritate skin with eczema.

I would use the essential oil of lavender in baths. It is antiviral and antibacterial I believe. It is also very calming.

I would rub 100% pure lanolin on my daughter's skin, which seemed to help.

I recently read that non refined, non hydrogenated coconut oil is good for eczema. I haven't had to use it since both my kids are eczema free at the moment. They actually have been for quite a while. They are now 6 and 2 and 1/2.

I have used a homeopathic cream too, but I can't remember the name of it. I found it at Wild Oats, I think.

It has been a lot of hard and stressful work, but I never did have to use steroids etc, and my kids never seemed to complain too much about itching.

I hope you find some relief soon.

Tina in Thailand said...

We made the pacifier a bed only thing. If our daughter wanted to suck on it, she had to go sit on her bed. It could not leave the bed, not even to play in her room. It did not take long for her to get bored of just sitting and sucking!

Tina in Thailand said...

Oh, yes, not sure if anyone else mentioned this excema idea yet. My sister had terrible excema, due to food allergies.
My mom would buy Vitamin E capsules and pierce them, then squeeze the oil out onto her skin and rub it in. It seemed to help her alot.

Anonymous said...

Amy, I did the cut the hole in the "mimi" thing. but I did wait until she was almost 3. Only because of the insistence of her daddy. I limited it to only naps and bedtime though. Once I made the little hole(that was so hard for me to do : ) she kept on using it. Then I cut down a little more....she kept on until it really was a nub but she still loved it so much she still wanted it around. One day we really did lose it and she was fine. I found it a day or 2 later but put it up in her keepsake box. No way, I could get rid of that little nub. So, maybe baby steps is what you need to do!!! Hope this helps.

KM said...

Eczema: we have tried creams from the doctor, everything natural, all different kinds of lotion, etc.

We have mild to moderate relief with a variety of products.

What has been the best? Yeast infection cream. Has cleared it up! Cleared it up. My daughter had a yeast infection in her diaper rash. Once, I dotted that lotion on her eczema...major clear up. The pediatrician was astounded. I continue to use it when she has the beginnings of a flare up (hers is in spots all over her body. The biggest places were on the backs of her thighs. It has completely cleared up there with no recurrence. We now have occasional issues with small round patches.)

My brother recently noticed his son had severe eczema on his bottom. I told him to buy over-the-counter Monistat....has cleared it up within days.

Might give it a try. I can promise you...it is eczema. We didn't have confusion...even diagnosed by pediatrician...on what we were dealing with. I got this suggestion from a nurse anesthesist and from reading on the internet.

Andi said...

My son is 2 1/2 & still sleeps with the binky. We've talked of getting rid of it since he was a year old. It's been limited to sleep time ONLY since he was a year old. We clipped the ends about 6 months ago & he didn't care at all.

So, we're going to take the binkies to the store, let him pick out whatever toy he wants & have him "pay" with the binkies. We're going to do it when we move him to a big bed in a few weeks.

Julie Stiles Mills said...

We had a "paci" attachment for years. When we tried to take it away, the thumb went into the mouth. So we asked the pediatric dentist. He said we shouldn't force it because, while we can take away a pacifier, we can't take away a thumb. So, we started slow - and consistent:

Rule #1: NO talking with the paci in the mouth. EVERY SINGLE time, we said, "What? I don't understand you with the paci in your mouth."

Rule #2: We let our daughter keep possession of her paci, but throughout the day - every day, we said, "Paci out, please." As long as she could keep it with her, she was okay with that. As time went on, she got tired of carrying it around and began to set it down.

Rule #3: Eventually, we got to a point where we said the "Paci was for night-night." She would go to bed with it and as soon as she fell asleep, we would pull it out and leave it in her bed.

The dentist was right. He had always commented that he could tell she was still using the paci and she was very proud to tell him when she stopped. All by herself.

You know your child. Do what you think is right - forget about what anyone might think.

For the eczema - they make a synthetic vitamin D cream, brand name Dovonex (spelling).

Meg said...

My son had eczema until he turned 3; it disappeared (he outgrew it)....but I have a feeling it'll return; my husband struggles w/ it in the winter.

We used the hydrocortizone cream (OTC) for a while, then switched to prescription (Elocon?) when it got worse. By April, it was gone, and it never returned.

I wonder if it is also because I religiously slather Aveeno lotion on him after baths now for prevention....

Margo said...

I agree with the people who said to limit the nuk to naps and bedtime. An older child will get totally bored sitting in bed just to suck the thing. A younger child's speech and teeth will not be affected by it because she won't be sucking on it except to go to sleep.
We weaned our daughter cold turkey around 16 months when she started to refuse to put it in her mouth when she woke up at night, crying for us to come and do it. Nooooo thanks!! We had one very rough week, and then she was fine. At the time, we also helped her to transition to another lovey, a little blanket that she still snuggles with when she's sleepy or sick.
Good luck!!

MCC said...

I started with a pin prick in the bottom of it. It won't fill up with air and be as comforting (I think someone else mentioned this as well). Then I cut off a little more every couple of days. My oldest was so stubborn...she would hold it in her teeth until the day that there wasn't enough left.

Tara said...

My name is Tara and I am a Registered Nurse. I am a distributor for an amazing product called MonaVie. The ONLY reason I decided to drink and sell this product is because I saw my friend's 4 y.o son's eczema go from bad to GONE with just this nutritional beverage!

It is a organic/wild fruit juice blend of 19 fruits from around the world. The "star" fruit of the blend is the acai berry. Both of her pre-school age boys drink it daily... in other words, it tastes good!

You can email me if you would like more information! taraharp@hotmail.com

Good luck with the pacifier thing. I don't have kids, but it looks like you received a lot of great tips!

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