A Much Needed Break...

I'm taking a bloggy (and real life) vacation.

Take it easy and I'll catch up with y'all next week!

Just a Spoonful of Sugar (Or Zyrtec)

I've told you in the past that I have issues with hypochondria and that Jackson seems to have inherited that trait from me. Actually, he could have gotten from either me or Jeremy because we both tend to have a "sky is falling" mentality as far as our personal health care is concerned. But that is neither here nor there.

Anywho....

Jackson is on a maintenance dose of Zyrtec to help with his seasonal allergies and eczema. He takes 1/2 tsp every morning like it's candy. So this morning I was on my own with Jackson because Jeremy had to head out of town at the unholy hour of 5:00 this morning. Jackson was sitting at the table eating his cereal when he said, "Momma, I'm not feeling berry (very) good."

Fearing the swine flu which is rampant in our area right now, I asked him what was wrong.

Jackson said (in a completely normal voice), "I can't talk because of my allergies. I need my Zyrtec. In a cup, please." I got down the Zyrtec and poured the dose into a medicine cup. Jackson took it and about 2 seconds later announced, "I'm feeling all better now. My allergies are gone and I can talk now!"

It's so nice when Momma can make it better things better in less than 30 seconds!!

And you can just call me Mary Poppins...

Chicken and Dentists (But Not Being Chicken At The Dentist!)

Jackson is really getting the hang of the idea that God created the world. We were driving to church last night and the whole way there Jackson would say things like, "God made the grass. God made the trees. God made the dirt." and so on.

As we passed Zaxby's Jackson piped up with, "God made chicken and I like to eat chicken!"

I'm definitely not raising a vegetarian!

And Jackson had his first trip to the dentist this morning and did GREAT!!! The office is really cool because it has a caboose attached to the office that the kids can play in. His office is even called the "Chew Chew Train." Jackson had a blast climbing into the lookout window and watching the traffic go by. This is the same dentist that I went to as a kid and they still have several of the same hygienists. Two of them (and the Dr. Cumbus) recognized me from years ago! I was a little nervous because they don't let parents go back with the kids, but Jackson did fine. He had no cavities and the spacing in his teeth is really good. His baby teeth are perfect, and his permanent teeth look great on the x-rays. Dr. Cumbus did mention a slight under bite, but he said we will keep an eye on it and hopefully it will correct itself.

See the caboose with the lookout window? It made it totally worth it for Jackson! I'm so glad his first trip to the dentist was a great experience and that he did wonderful.

I hope y'all have a great day and I'll see you tomorrow!

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

Only 5 days until I'm sinking my toes into the beautiful

Alabama Gulf Coast sand....

And 30 days until I'm heading to Mexico...

But who's counting, right?

Ruminations on Life

I found this list of All-time Favorites from Ruminations.com on Grass Stains yesterday, and I proceeded to crack up laughing. They are so funny (and true) that I just had to share. Tell me which are your favorites in the comments section. I put an * by my favorites, and I had plenty of them. Enjoy!

*I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase “Regards” again.

*Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQs. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.

*There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.

The other night I hit a new low at an open bar. I had already hopped on highway blackout when, inevitably I had to find a bathroom. Eventually I decided it was probably on the other side of the bar so I tried to walk over there, but ran into a guy coming the other way. We played that, both go left, both go right game to no avail, so I finally put out my hand to guide myself past and that’s is when I realized, yup, that’s a mirror I just tried to walk through. And the guy on the other side is me. Even cats can recognize their own image.

*I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

Was learning cursive really necessary?

*LOL has gone from meaning “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say.”

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

*Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart.”

How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?

*I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a loser from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

*Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using ‘as in’ examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss’s last name to an attorney and said “Yes that’s G as in…(10 second lapse)...ummm…Goonies.”

*While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks, Mario Kart.

*MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

*Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories.

*Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!

Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

*Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem….

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

*Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.

****There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

“Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever.

I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There’s so much pressure. "I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It’s only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?"

*While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don’t win, they are executed.

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

When I meet a new girl, I’m terrified of mentioning something she hasn’t already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

*Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles…

As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

*Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

*It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

*Even if I knew your Social Security Number, I wouldn’t know what do to with it.

It really ticks me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

He Said What???

Jeremy went to pick Jackson up from school yesterday and had the most interesting conversation with Jackson's teacher, Mrs. Deanna.

Mrs. Deanna: "We were talking about policemen today and Jackson told me about the time that you had to call the police to help get him out of a tree."

Jeremy: "Ummm.....excuse me?"

Mrs. Deanna: "Yeah, he told us that he had climbed into a tree and he got way too high and got stuck, so you had to call the police to come help. The policeman couldn't help so he called the firemen and then the firemen came out to your house. Jackson told me they brought the ladder truck and as they were raising it it was making a 'ssssshhhhhhh' sound. When they got the ladder up, the firemen climbed the ladder and got him out of the tree."

Jeremy: "I hate to tell you this, but that's a bedtime story Jackson's heard."

As Jeremy was telling me this story I was dying laughing. I immediately knew this was a "Reroy" story, but Jeremy told me that Mrs. Deanna was more than a little concerned about the thought of Jackson getting stuck in a tree.

And just think, he's only three years old. Imagine what he's going to come up with when he's a teenager!

Parental Karma

Once upon a time there was a man and woman who loved each other very much. They decided to have a baby and nine months later they welcomed a sweet baby girl named Amy. She was a precious baby (or so I've been told), but as she grew up it became obvious that she liked to eat. More so, as soon as Amy's brown eyes popped open in the morning she was ready to be fed. Not 5 minutes from now, but NOW!

Amy's parents quickly learned to adjust to this need, but the problem never really got any better. In fact Amy's first thoughts when waking up in the morning were of food. When she was going to get some,what she would eat, and then what her next meal was going to be. She would also barely let her mother get into the door after work before she would start badgering her about "what are we going to eat for supper tonight" because "I'm so hungry and I can't wait anymore!"

One might call her very predictable.

One also might call her a pain in the hiney.

Then Amy grew up and had a child of her own. She quickly figured out that, rightfully so, Jackson had to be fed before she could eat. And she also figured out that Jackson liked to eat now, and not 5 minutes from now, but she had no idea where he got that from! She quickly learned to be prepared before Jackson was supposed to be awake to have a bottle ready for when those baby blues popped open, otherwise chaos would ensue.

Then Jackson learned to talk.

Now Amy is facing parental karma of the worst kind when about 10 seconds after Jackson wakes up in the morning he's saying, "Hey Momma....I want some cereal!" and 15 seconds after getting Jackson into the car after school he's asking "what are we going to eat for supper tonight?" and throwing fits as soon as he gets into the house because, "I waaannnnttttt soommmeeee gooooollllllddddffffiiiisssshhhh" and Amy's panicking because "there is absolutely no way short of miracle to get supper done in 15 minutes, and no, you cannot have goldfish this close to supper because it will ruin your appetite and for the love can I just breathe for a minute!"

And Amy's mother is laughing hysterically about the whole thing....

The Shark In My Living Room

I don't know what possessed me last night, but after bath time, and before bed time, I lost my sanity played the role of cool mom and set up Jackson's tent for him to play in.

So last night there really was a shark in my living room.

Get In My Belly!!!

Hey Jackson!

Even Macy got in on the fun!

My, what big teeth you have!

The cutest kid ever!

And it was great fun until it was actually time for Jackson to go to bed at which point a total meltdown began.

Lesson learned.

And y'all, I want to formally introduce my amazing sister Kellyn to the blog-o-sphere. She, with a little help and harassment encouragement from her big sister, has started her own blog at Gibsonville. Everyone needs to hop over there and welcome her to blogging! Have a great Friday!

Tales From The Tub

Jackson comes up with the funniest things and most of what cracks me up is what he says during bath time. He is usually very reserved but he loves playing during bath time, so normally he really lets his guard down and plays pretend with his tub toys. This is when I can really get him to talk to me, and when he says some of the most hilarious things! His new school must be reading Green Eggs and Ham to him because during his bath I overhead him talking with his bath toys saying:

"I do not like Green Eggs and Ham. I do not like them, Sam I Am. I do not like Green Eggs and Ham. I do not like them 'cause I'm Spiderman!!"

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

A Recipe For Bedtime:

Take a stinky, sweaty child and place into the bathtub.

Throw in some bubbles and about 642 bath tub toys.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Argue with said child that after 30 minutes of pruning it is time to get out and deny his request for "just 5 more minutes."

Get child dressed despite having to chase after a naked preschooler!

Add one bowl of Cheddar cheese rice cakes

And "just one" sippy cup of milk.

Throw in reading about 10 Thomas books

And 47 Bible Stories

And set the timer on the microwave to go off in 10 minutes.

After the timer goes off, deny any requests for "just 5 more minutes."

Brush teeth. Spit. Rinse.

Take the child to bed.

Argue with the child about not reading more stories.

Give in and read "just one more book."

Put 19 stuffed animals into the child's bed.

Wait for the child to throw all the animals out of the bed.

Pick up the animals again after the child stops crying because "he neeeeeeds his animals."

Leave the room.

Go back 5 minutes later to sing Jesus Loves Me.

Leave the room.

Send Daddy in as a reinforcement.

Daddy leaves.

Crying ensues.

Mommy enters.

Crying quits.

Mommy leaves.

Crying ensues.

Crying quits.

1 hour after the process begins, the child finally falls asleep!

Because every little boy needs a tiger to guard him at night!

Just a few of the animals!

19 stuffed animals: $127.00

1 Dinosaur blanket: $10.00

1 major headache and 3 ibuprofen: $0.75

Have a child look as sweet as this sleeping: Priceless!

Update from Jacksonville

In the midst of Jeremy's broken elbow crisis yesterday, I was busy taking Jackson to the doctor for his 3 year checkup. I always schedule the first appointment of the morning and yesterday was no exception. We got there and after a few minutes we went back to see the nurse. I LOVE Jackson's pediatrician, but the nurse is a complete flake. She's one of those people that you never think she's listening to everything you say and in the midst of her never-ending "does he do this now?" questions you could say, "Jackson turned into a purple hippo the other day, but it didn't last for long" and she would just nod and smile and leave the room.

And because I may forget to write this down in a Jackson's baby book, he is now 37 1/4 inches tall and weighs 32.8 pounds. He has grown 4 inches and gained 4 pounds in a year.

Anyways, the flaky nurse asked if Jackson was potty trained and I was so happy to be able to say yes. She then asked if I thought Jackson would be willing to give a urine sample since they have never gotten one before. I didn't think it would be a problem so I took Jackson down the hall into the bathroom and told him that he needed to potty into the cup for the doctor.

You would have thought that he had died and gone to Heaven when he realized that he was about to tee-tee in a cup. He grinned like a Cheshire cat the entire time he was filling that cup up.

When he got done finished doing his business, I sat the cup on the counter and started helping him get his clothes back up. As I was washing my hands he looked at the cup then looked up at me and said, "Momma, we're not supposed to drink that!"

Truer words have never been spoken....

And yes, Jackson wanted to tee-tee in a cup again this morning, and no, it's not gonna happen in my house!

The Stuff Broken Bones Are Made Of

Friday night we decided to go out for dinner with my family for Jackson's birthday. We were running around the house trying to get ready when the drama began.

Perhaps this would be a good time to interrupt my story to mention that our dog Macy has a problem drinking water and dripping it all over the floor.

And perhaps this would be a good time to mention that we have a linoleum floor in our kitchen.

And perhaps this would be a good time to mention that Jeremy was walking barefooted through our kitchen and stepped in the before mentioned puddle.

And it may or may not have looked a lot like this:

And Jeremy crashed onto the floor and landed on his right elbow.

The same elbow that was broken when he was a kid during Bible Drill. Remind me to tell you that story later.

And the same elbow that Jeremy had surgery on during high school when he was playing baseball.

I ran into the kitchen and saw Jeremy laying on the floor and he asked me to help him up. I distinctly remember telling him that I didn't think I could support all his weight with only one hand when Jeremy had me try to get him up anyways.

And it probably didn't help him at all that when I tried to help him up with only one hand that his hand slipped out of mine and he fell back on the same elbow again.

Jeremy insisted that he was "fine" and that he would see the doctor on Saturday, so we ate supper at Cici's pizza and after watching Jeremy try to eat left handed and be miserable every time he moved his right arm, Jeremy and I headed to Primed. We got there and saw a sign on the door that said "Our X-Ray machine is down. If you feel you need X-ray's, please go to the E.R."

So we went to the ER, otherwise known as the land of Swine Flu. I was nauseated with the amount of germs we were exposing ourselves to. I couldn't help but think that "Jeremy's gonna have a broken elbow and I'm gonna get the swine flu" from this whole ordeal all because Macy dripped water on the floor.

And FYI Moms: Please, for the love of all things right and good in the world, teach your kids to cover their mouth when they are coughing and sneezing, especially when it appears that they have the swine flu.

3 hours later Jeremy got his x-rays which the doctor pronounced as "Good. No breaks."

After a total of 5 hours we were sent home at 12:30 in the morning with a sling. Jeremy stayed out of work on Saturday and was miserable. He attempted to go to work on Sunday and came home. After several hours of watching his arm start to swell really badly and getting very feverish we decided to try Primed again. Jeremy said the pain was still an 11 on a scale of 1 to 10. Neither of us were fully convinced that his arm wasn't broken despite the ER doctor's declaration.

Jeremy waited at Primed for an hour and still had a 4-5 hour wait ahead of him, so we packed up and headed back to the land of Swine Flu, which by this time had lots of new residents wearing masks.

Is it possible to bathe in hand sanitizer?

So we finally get into a room in the ER and see the exact same doctor as Friday night. Guess what? He was a jerk then, and he was a jerk last night!

We showed him the swelling and redness in Jeremy's arm and the doctor decided that new x-rays's weren't necessary because "it won't show us anything new" so he ran some blood work instead thinking that Jeremy might have an infection. I asked him what would have caused an infection in Jeremy's arm if nothing was broken and he didn't have an answer for me. I've watched enough episodes of House to know when a doctor doesn't know what's wrong with you, and this doctor was clearly just grasping at straws.

Jeremy's blood work came back okay, but he gave Jeremy IV antibiotics and steroids and sent us home again with instructions to go see an orthopedic today. I called at 7:00 this morning and got Jeremy an appointment with an orthopedic doctor and Jeremy went in for the appointment at 10:00 this morning. The doctor pulled the x-rays the ER had taken on Friday night, took one look at them, and said, "You have a fracture on the radial head of your elbow and a torn ligament."

Stupid ER doctors....

Jeremy did not get a cast because the orthopedic doesn't want his arm to stiffen so he sent Jeremy home in a sling and is going to see him again in 3 weeks (right after our beach trip) to see how he's doing, and Jeremy has to start flexing his arm to maintain movement.

Once again...What stupid ER doctors.

And just think; all this ER fun is before Obamacare starts!!!

Dear Jackson,

Happy 3rd Birthday little man! I can't believe how much time has flown by. It's amazing how much you have changed in the last year. At only three years old, you are already such a smart little boy with an amazing vocabulary and such a sweet spirit. It's been a crazy year for us! Just a few months ago I realized that you were carrying on full grown up conversations with us, you have moved into your own big boy bed, you started a new preschool, and you are now finally potty trained! It cracks me up when I'm pestering you about going to the potty and you look at me and say, "Mommy, I will TELL you when I need to go potty!" You are such an independent little man, although I can't imagine where you got that from!

You love reading books with us, have lots of books memorized, play with about a million trucks and cars that are scattered all over the house, and share your big boy bed with no less than 8 stuffed animals each night, your favorite one right now being your puppy, Jack! We also have enjoyed watching Night At the Museum about 20 times a day with you since you discovered the movie on the shelf. I'm waiting for you to rediscover "Silly Monsters" again!

During the last three years I've watched all the ways you've grown and changed, and I thank God daily for letting me be your Mommy! We had prayed for a baby, and when we found out you were on your way, our hearts were overjoyed. You have more than fulfilled my every dream and expectation of being your mother. The other night as I was tucking you into bed I whispered something into your ear that I tell you every day; I said, "I love you to the moon..." You finished with "and back!" Then you got quiet for a second and said, "That's a long way, Momma!"

It sure is kiddo, but I do love you to the moon and back! Happy Birthday Jackson!

Love,

Momma

Someone did NOT want his picture taken this morning!

A cutie even in the midst of a tantrum!

You and your umbrella!

Happy Birthday Jackson!!!

3 years ago today at exactly 5:00 p.m.

I looked like this...

and was walking down the halls of the hospital to check in for my scheduled induction to meet this precious gift the following day,

and life has never been the same since.

3 years ago today I was close to having a panic attack because I was so terrified of "having" a baby.

3 years ago today I knew that I would love a child with my whole heart, but I had no idea the depth of that love.

3 years ago today I knew that in less than 24 hours I would forever change my life by having a baby, but I had no idea how completely it would change me, and more so, that I would love the "new" me.

3 years ago today I was still a woman pregnant for the first time, feeling Jackson kick inside me and waiting for the induction to get started at midnight. Now, I'm a tried and true veteran of labor who would do anything and everything for her child.

And it's been so worth it....

Lost In Translation

Jackson has proven time and time again that he has an amazing vocabulary, and an amazing memory. We were in the car yesterday when Jackson piped up from the backseat with an exchange that eventually got both Jeremy and I laughing at our little man and his persistence.

Jackson: "Dr. Doodle says shut up."
Me: "That's right he did, but that is not a nice word, so he got put in time out. We don't say shut up."
Jackson: "Dr. Doodle got in time out because he said shut up. I'm not supposed to say shut up."
Me: "No, we don't say that word."
Jackson: "Daddy doesn't say shut up."
Me: "No, he doesn't because we don't say that word!"
Jackson: "You don't say shut up."
Me: "Nope, because we don't say that word!"
Jackson: "But I don't say shut up!"
Me: "We don't say that word!"
Jackson: "Dr. Doodle says shut up."

I eventually gave up talking it out with Jackson because after chasing that rabbit for awhile, it was time for me to shut up!

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

I promised pictures from Jackson's birthday party and here they are! Like I said before, Jackson had a "monkey" themed birthday party at our YMCA's indoor playground. It was so much fun, and I was so pleased with how everything turned out. The kids had fun, and the adults got tired just watching them! Enjoy the pictures!

The Monkey Invitation (minus our specifics)

The cake based on the invitation

The Birthday Boy in Action!

He was a moving target the entire party!

Our Monkey Climbing!

Taking a little rest!

Kloe

Cousin Abbie

Noah

And his sweet sister, Maddie

Bella Hope

Gracie

Avery

Layton (wearing an adorable monkey shirt!)

Mason and Gracie

Our other Chloe

And the birthday boy!

Time for cake!

He got so shy while we were singing "Happy Birthday" to him!

Enjoying cake and ice cream

Time for presents!

A monkey for our monkey!

The Wade/Wade/Knight Families!

The Moore/Wade/Gibson families!

And this was how I felt when the party was over!