Tales From A Job Fair

Thursday I went to a local job fair that was put on by one of our news stations. I was there with our company's HR person, and we were specifically recruiting for instructors, teachers and nurses for our facilities. The job fair had a really big turnout, and the last time I asked about registration they had already registered over 700 folks. We spent the day explaining our company's purpose and trying to help people understand what it is that we do, and what we are looking for.

Y'all, we saw all kinds of people, some of which I can easily understand why they don't have a job! It was mind-boggling at how some of the people presented themselves to potential employers! It was during the morning hours that I began really observing folks, and I decided to mentally compile a list of job fair tidbits for those of you who might be in the market. And sadly y'all, this list is comprised solely of offenses that I saw with my own eyes!

Tips in general...

1. Try to end your cell phone conversations before you are standing at our table talking to us about job opportunities.
2. Try not to let it slip that you don't want a background check run on you because of what it will turn up.
3. Don't chew gum.
4. Don't help yourself 4 times to our candy. We know you're not sharing!
5. Spiderweb tattoos covering your face and neck really don't give off the best first impression.

For ladies in the job market...

1. First and foremost: wear a bra. I really thought that was common sense.
2. Do not however wear a flourescent colored bra under a white tee shirt.
3. Also do not wear a white sports bra under a white tee shirt.
4. How about just not wearing a white tee shirt?
5. No matter how impressive your, ahem, assets are, a job fair with potential employers is not the place to display 4 inches of cleavage proudly peek-a-booing out of your shirt.
6. There really isn't an appropriate time to wear a see-through shirt to work unless you are used to working with poles.
7. Try your best to not have a thong hanging out of the back of your skin tight jeans.
8. Booty shorts and mini-skirts aren't quite the look you should be going for.
9. And finally, appropriate shoes are definitely noticed. You certainly don't want to look like you just got off your night shift with stripper heels.

For men in the job market...

1. Make sure your pants are zipped. We really don't want to see everything that you can offer!
2. Is it too much to ask for you to remove your 1/2 inch cubic zirconia earrings before you leave the house?
3. Ditto for the Mr. T gold chains.
4. And wife-beaters.
5. Sandals and white ankles socks don't work. Ever. (Although Jeremy says they do!)
6. Mullets have got to go.
7. You wearing your Boy Scout cap from 1992 that's covering up your greasy shoulder length hair isn't convincing me that you can handle behaviorly challenged teen boys no matter what you say.
8. But mainly just remember that K-Fed should never be your style icon.

So there you have it for those of you looking for work: Don't look like a stripper or K-Fed and you'll be doing better than at least 50 people that I saw Thursday!

Disclaimer: This post does not reflect the majority of people that I saw at the job fair, those who actually know how to present themselves when looking for a job. If you are in the market for a new job I wish you the best of luck in your pursuits!