Monday, June 08, 2009

I'm about to have a meltdown of my own...

After only 20 hours of back breaking work, our VBS room was finished! And then I went off and forgot to take pictures. But never fear, the week is still young, and I promise to post pictures tomorrow.

And now, I bring you a Monday dilemna to help me sort out.

We're having a little problem with our little man. Keep in mind, he's turning 3 in August, and for several months now we have had major problems issues with dropping Jackson off at preschool and church. The problem is that he has a complete meltdown when it is time for us to leave him. I'm not talking tears and whining, what I'm referring to is a complete "can't-get-his-breath-because-he's-crying-so-hard" meltdown, and it doesn't seem to matter which of us is leaving him. What is so mind boggling to me is that Jackson has only gone to our church (since before he was born), and he's been at the same preschool since he was 8 months old. We've tried everything that we can think of from bribing the good behavior out of him with candy or small toys, to talking with him about how we will be back in "just a few minutes" to ignoring the behavior completely, to just taking him down to the baby room at church until he can calm down, and it seems like nothing is working.

It's gotten to the point at preschool that the director meets us at our car to come get Jackson as opposed to us walking him in because he gets so upset when we leave.

And y'all, it just about kills me.

I hate leaving him like that. I hate seeing the tears and hearing the crying. I hate being "that" parent whose child has such extreme problems with separation.

And I know that within a few minutes of us leaving that he quits crying. And I know that he always has a good day at school because he and his teachers tell me so. He's a great kid, and is dearly loved at his school. He just hates being left.

And for as many people have told me, "this too shall pass" I want to just say to them, "How does that help me NOW?"

And y'all, I'm just tired of it...

So, from one parent to another, I would love some advice or words of wisdom to help us through this.

But please don't tell me, "this too shall pass."

3 random thoughts:

Miranda said...

I will give you the best advice ever given to me. I know I've told you before that Gracie went through the same thing. The longer you stay and try to comfort/console him, the worse things will get.
I'm sure he knows anyway, but when you leave him - tell him you love him and you'll be back as soon as church is over. Then leave.
I know that sounds kind of cold and harsh, but it worked for Gracie. And every once in a while when she wants to be clingy or put on the water works, I do the exact same thing all over again.

Kristi said...

This happened with Harrison. He was so bad they would actually take him out and walk him around the preschool area. I was the bad guy and told them they were just "feeding" his problem. My husband could not "drop and go" so I had to do it every time. It was HARD and took a LONG time (it seemed like it anyway) but he finally got over it. I think the more attention he got the worse it got.
Have you tried giving him a little plastic album ($1 store)with family pics in it to keep with him? Or a fav. stuffed animal- some do not want to start the habit of carrying a stuffed thing- but it could "report" his behavior back to you.
Good Luck!

Random said...

I have no children of my own, but have looked after several with this problem. Two things worked best for them (one or the other always seemed to have at least some positive effect):
- Some reminders of family or home to carry around all day. This could be a photograph of parents or siblings, a photograph of the child's room, or even a favorite stuffed animal. Anything that gives the child a little bit of home!
- Or, an immediate distraction. Leaving a child to find an activity to do was never as successful as finding an activity with the child and then saying goodbye when he or she was immersed in it, or a friend had joined in the activity.
Maybe it will help!

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