Worms in Your Belly

Jackson has developed a penchant for drinking bathwater out of his tub toys and it grosses me out beyond belief. In a moment of sheer desperation the other night, I told him that drinking bathwater will make you get worms in your belly.

He was less than thrilled about that.

He wanted to know if there were worms in his belly right then, so I put my ear to his tummy and listened for a second. I assured him that he didn’t have worms in his belly, and that he was fine, but that he could get them from drinking bathwater.

A few minutes later when I was drying him off, he put his ear to my tummy and said, “Uh-oh Mommy! I listened to your tummy and you have snails in your belly!”

Maybe that’s why I feel so sluggish…

So now between a shark in the living room, and worms in his belly, I feel sure that his future therapist will have plenty to work with!

And So It Begins...

Last night before Jackson’s bedtime, Jeremy and Jackson were hanging out in the kitchen when all of a sudden Jackson got this panicky, disgusted look on his face and started crying.

Jeremy had seen Jackson’s hands really close to his mouth, so he ran over to him and said, “What did you put in your mouth?”

Jackson said, “A boogie!!!”

We are so proud....

It's like he's trying to speak to me....

Every night when we are laying Jackson down to bed, one (or both) of us will lay down beside him and tell him a bedtime story or ten. Last night I got him settled down and Jackson immediately told me that he wanted to see the 3 little girls. I was confused. Three little girls? What in the world was he talking about? What three little girls? He just kept saying over and over, "I want to see the three little girls. I want to see the three little girls." He was getting a little frustrated because I didn't know what he was talking about.

For more than a split second I was slightly concerned that our house was built on top of an old Indian burial ground.

Then he said, "The girls that say crash, boom."

And then I got it...Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

Lost in Translation

It is cold here. Bitterly cold. The end.

Just kidding. You know I have much more to say than that!

After picking Jackson up from school yesterday I was trying to wrestle him into his carseat. I was telling him that we needed to hurry because I had forgotten my jacket.

Me: "Hurry, Jackson. Mommy's freezing out here. I forgot my jacket."

Jackson: (picture head cocked to one side) "You two-get your jacket?"

Me: "No, I forgot my jacket."

Jackson: "You two-get your jacket?"

Me: "No, I forgot my jacket."

Jackson: (now looking at me like I'm an idiot) "Mommy two-get your jacket?"

Me: "I give up. Yes, I two-get my jacket."

2...4......at least he's close and knows his numbers!!!

And it goes without saying that he is just the cutest thing ever...

Skip this one if you are easily offended by juvenile humor...

Let me preface this post by saying that although we have a boy, we haven't exactly started discussing the anatomically correct names for "girl parts" or "boy parts." We have kind of skirted our way around it mostly because I don't want him going to school and sharing all his new words with his preschool pals.

With that being said....

Last night I was giving Jackson his bath and because I wanted to read for a few minutes, I hopped into the tub with him. He was happily playing on one end of our garden tub and I was reading. After a few minutes, I notice that he dropped a toy outside the tub and he was standing up trying to reach his toy which was on the floor. Needless to say, and before I could catch him, his slippery little body slid right over the edge of the tub and his hands were on the floor holding him up, and his feet were up in the air. I quickly dragged him back into the tub and he immediately stands up and starts doing this panicky dance while hollering, "My Balls....My Balls....My Balls."

My first thoughts....in a matter of mere seconds...
Where the heck did he hear that word?
Did he squish his little manhood?
Oh please, tell me he didn't learn that from preschool...

Wanna know what he was referring too?

Remember that toy I told you he dropped? It turns out that he had about 4 practice air flow golf balls as tub toys. He dropped his balls.

Now we can get our minds out of the gutter and return to our regularly scheduled programming. Sorry for the interruption.

We Scare Because We Care

Jackson has a favorite movie. It's called Silly Monsters. It's also known as Monster's Inc. for those of you who aren't familiar with how scary that movie can be for a toddler when a parent may or may not have forgotten about the scare scenes in the movie. I had to convince him that the movie is silly, and not scary, and now we watch it eleventy thousand times a day. Seriously. Eleventy.Thousand.Times.A.Day. It's basically on repeat and as soon as it's finished we have to start it again. Jackson doesn't care if there is something that is must watch on TV like a new episode of 24. The movie is funny the first 100 times you watch it. After that? Not so much...

I practically have the entire movie memorized. Wanna know some of my favorite lines? Sure you do... here they are in no particular order:

Mike and Sulley at a crosswalk next to a giant monster]
Sulley: Hey, Ted! Good morning! [Ted clucks; light changes and they cross]
Sulley: See that, Mikey? Ted's walking to work.
Mike:Big deal. Guy takes five steps and he's there.

Mike: Roz, my tender, oozing blossom, you're looking fabulous today. Is that a new haircut? Tell me it's a new haircut. It's got to be a new haircut. New makeup? You had a lift? You had a tuck? You had something? Something has been inserted in in you that makes you look... Listen, I need a favor. Randall was working late last night out on the scare floor. I really need the key to the door he was using.
Roz: Well, isn't that nice? But guess what? You didn't turn in your paperwork last night.
Mike: He didn't... I... no paperwork?
Roz: This office is now closed. [Roz closes the window on Mike's fingers]
Mike: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Sulley: Hey, Mike, this might sound crazy but I don't think that kid's dangerous. Mike: Really? Well, in that case, let's keep it. I always wanted a pet that could kill me.

Charlie: 2319. We have a 2319!

Needleman: So I said, "If you talk to me like that again, we're through."
Smitty: Oh! What did she say?
Needleman: You know my mom. She sent me to my room.

TV Anchorman: If witnesses are to be believed, there has been a child security breach for the first time in monster history.
CDA Agent: We can neither confirm nor deny the presence of a human child here tonight.
Witness #1: Well the kid flew right over me and blasted a car with its laser vision.
Witness #2: I tried to get away from it, but he picked me up with his mind powers and shook me like a doll.
Witness #3: It's true! I saw the whole thing!
Professor on TV: It is my professional opinion that now it's the time to *panic*!

Sulley(to Boo): That’s a cute little dance you got. Almost looks like you gotta-Oh.

That's enough of the quotes. Now let's enjoy some movie clips. If I have to watch this movie constantly, the least you can do for me is to watch these snippets. Love y'all!

He took the words right out of my mouth...

Every night after bath time we get Jackson lotioned up and dressed in his pajamas,and then we blow dry his hair. If his hair doesn't get dried, he ends up looking like a wooley booger in the morning. You might even think that we brushed his hair with a brillo pad.

So last night was Jeremy's night to dry Jackson's hair. He sat there unusually still and when he was done Jeremy spun him around to check himself out in the mirror.

Jackson's words as he looked in the mirror: "I look like such a handsome little boy."

Yes you do, little man. Yes you do...

Like Mother....Like Son

I have had this teeny, tiny thing called hypochondria for practically my whole life. Ask my Mom. I am 28 years old and I do not (cannot) read the pamphlet of information that comes with prescriptions medication because I will give myself the symptoms. Every.Single.Time. Anytime I had to write a paper in school on any illness for a research paper or whatnot, I would mysteriously come down with the symptoms. Like the time I was about 12 and had to do a paper on diabetes: I knew that my great-grandmother had diabetes, and that there is a genetic predisposition to the disease. Then I read the symptoms...*(dum, dum, dum)*

Frequent urination-Check
Excessive thirst-Check
Extreme hunger -Check
Unusual weight loss-Um. Not so much.
Increased fatigue-Why of course...
Irritability-Now that you ask..
Blurry vision-If my eyes were squinted then yes...I had blurry vision.

It was official. I had diabetes. I was so convinced that I even made my Mom take me to the doctor.

I didn't have diabetes. I still don't....yet.

I think Jackson has inherited hypochondria from me...

His newest thing is that he will tell me that he needs to go to the doctor. His doctor's name is Dr. Diebel. He recently saw part of the movie Dr. Doolittle on TV, and now he thinks that all doctors are named Dr. Doodle. It's rather funny.

So yesterday we are on our way home from school yesterday. He says:

Jackson: "I'm not feeling very good. I need to go see Dr. Doodle."
Me: "You're not? What's wrong?"
Jackson: "My tummy hurts....my head hurts...I have a little cough. (insert fake coughing sound here)"
Me: "I'm sorry. Do you want some medicine."
Jackson: "No. My knee hurts.....and my chin....and my finger...and my cheek."
Me: "Do you need to go see the doctor."
Jackson: "No, I don't want to get a shot in my booty. I feel better now."

End of discussion. Jackson miraculously felt better after he determined that there was a possibility of a shot in his booty.

It's amazing at what the fear of a needle can do for you :)

The Difference A Year Makes

I was going through some pictures from last January and it was amazing to me at how much Jackson has changed in a year! He has gotten so much taller and he is also much skinnier now. I also can't believe the change in vocabulary. We were loving his "kuh-kuh-duck" from 2008, but it makes parenting so much easier when your 2 year old can tell you exactly what he wants in full and complete sentences, with proper English for the most part. His speech is amazing!

January 2008 Jackson playing in the one and only snow during his lifetime!

Check out that cute smile!

And now fast forward to 2009....

Look at how much taller he is!

Trying on Daddy's belt. Aren't the pajamas so cute on him!

Jackson is such a cutie playing with his completely gender neutral itchen-kay!

I have loved watching the changes that he has made over the course of this year. I can't wait to see how much he changes during 2009! Stay tuned for more exciting adventures in parenting!!!

Life with Jackson

I love the personality our little man has developed. Most of the time. He is so much like me that it's not even funny! He definitely inherited my stubborn streak! Case in point...his new favorite phrase is "I never ever never ever...." and then fill in the blank with whatever activity he currently doesn't want to do (which nine times out of ten is whatever I want/need him to do right.this.second.

Within the last few days I have heard some gems that I just had to share with y'all. Such as...

"I never ever never ever take a nap."

"I never ever never ever drink my milk."

"I never ever never ever take a bath."

"I never ever never ever clean up my toys."

And my personal favorite...."I never ever never ever go potty. Never. Ever." (This was said as he was pottying before bath time). My response to him...."Good luck with that kid."

I couldn't make this parenting stuff up if I tried...but boy, do I love that kid!!!

The Other Side of Santa Claus

Our refrigerator is covered with pictures of Jackson at various stages of his life. One of the pictures on the side of the fridge is a 5x7 picture of Jackson with Santa Claus and was taken when Jackson was about 4 months old. Jackson is beginning to get interested in Santa Claus, although I don't really think he "gets" much of it yet. This morning Jeremy and Jackson were hanging out in the kitchen talking and I overheard the following conversation:

Jeremy: "What is your name?"
Jackson" "Jackson Thomas Wade."
Jeremy: "What is Mommy's name?"
Jackson: "Amy Lizbeth Wade."
Jeremy: "What is my name?"
Jackson: "Jeremy Paul Wade."
Jeremy: "How old are you?"
Jackson: "I'm 2."
Jeremy (pointing to the picture of Jackson and Santa): "Who is that?"
Jackson: "Santa Claus."
Jeremy: "And what does Santa Claus do?"
Jackson: "He takes my toys."

I think he's lost something in translation...And I have a new poll going up on the right side of the page under the Blogher Ads and I am really wanting some input!

He took the words right out of my mouth...

This morning as Jackson was eating his bowl of grits, I was sitting by him at the table. He was talking to me, and it's funny how sometimes he just randomly starts spitting phrases out that he has heard me say. Our conversation this morning made me laugh out loud.

Jackson: "Me not run in parking lots."
Me: "That's right Jackson. We don't run in parking lots. Why not?"
Jackson: "I could get hurt."
Me: "That's right. You could get hurt."
Jackson: "I could bust my tail."

Y'all...I nearly died laughing. He is too funny!

New and most funnest stage of parenting yet....

This morning Jeremy was taking his shower and I was trying to catch 5 more minutes of sleep when I heard Jackson waking up over the baby monitor. I walked into his room and he was still laying down, but was looking around the room. When he spotted me walking into his room, my sweet baby boy's first words of the day were, "Mommy go away. I want Daddy."

Sigh. It's so nice to be needed...

Big News in the Wade Family!

And no, it's not like the Jones' big news....

Guess who went to sleep without a pacifier last night?

If you guessed Jeremy you are only half right. That's right...Jackson actually fell asleep last night without his pacifier. He asked for it several times and we kept telling him that we had left it at school. After about 10 minutes of restlessness, he was out like a light. He did great until about 11:30 last night when he started crying and Jeremy went and gave it to him.

We're taking baby steps here people...

Then, around 5:30 he started waking up so Jeremy got him and put him in the bed with us. When the alarm went off I got up, took my shower, and then went to go wake Jackson up by rubbing his back.

Ya'll, there is nothing sweeter in the whole world than a sleeping child. They look so peaceful, happy, and innocent. They don't have a care in the world. I was cuddled up to Jackson when his eyes started opening, and he reached his chubby little hand up to my shoulder, where he proceeded to try and push me off the bed.

His first words of the day: "No Mommy, no. Mommy get up. Mommy get out."

Um. Seriously. I was kicked out of my own bed by my flesh and blood. The little stinker....