What OTC Cold Medication Does to Me

From what I have found, I must be a rather amusing person to live with when I'm taking cold medication. I snore like a freight train, at least according to Jeremy's oversensitive ears, and I have pretty random things pop into my head.

For example:

• Have you ever wondered why Cucumber and Melon scents are always put together to become Cucumber Melon scented products? Do cucumbers really smell that good? I know I love the scent of melons, but cucumbers are nothing more than pickles in waiting. I think that we should lobby the smelly-good-stuff industry for more melon scented products. Melons are definitely strong enough to stand on their own without the unnecessary cucumbers holding them up. Who's with me?
• I love VW Bugs. I think they are just about the cutest car ever. But seeing as how I've grown accustomed to my big ole I-can't-believe-I'm-29-and-driving-a-minivan vehicle, I don't think a VW bug would fit my lifestyle. Sooo, we should get the makers of the VW Bug to make a minivan sized version of the car. Just think about how cool it would be to see an army of big bugs driving down the road. It would be genius. I would totally get one in navy blue. They could call them Lady Bugs. I need to trademark that.

And I have some really random dreams on cold medication. Last night I dreamt that I broke into a church members house just to see how she had it decorated. Never mind the fact that I had a key to her place. And even worse, I got caught coming out of her house and I totally lied about breaking in. I claimed that I was driving down the road and I saw that their front door was open and that no cars were in the driveway, so I was checking to see what was going on. Nobody bought it. So from then on, no one in my church would let me have a key to their house, but somehow they thought it was fine for me to still be chairman of the nominating committee. Figures.

But at least that dream was better than my dream from the other night where I was riding to Atlanta in an old Oldsmobile with Barack and Michelle Obama. We were on our way to White Water and Six Flags. I woke up in a cold sweat and was so disturbed by the fact that I was friends with Barack and Michelle Obama that I literally could.not.go.back.to.sleep. I was equally disturbed by the thought of my friends finding out that I was friends with the Obama's. It was quite horrible, really.

And in more this-has-nothing-to-do-with-anything-else news, Jackson informed Jeremy and I at supper last night that he is teaching all the boys in his preschool class to tackle. I'm sure his teacher is loving us right now. At least he also told us that he's telling the boys not to tackle girls. It's hilarious watching him tackle though. He gets all set down and hollers, "Down, set, hunt. Fifty-nine. Hunt" and then tackles whoever is in his way. Well, it's funny to me, because he knows not to tackle his Mama!

And also, we've established a "Mama gets dressed behind closed doors" policy around our house. It's never been a big issue to me if Jackson sees me getting dressed, until a few days ago. I certainly had done my best to get changed whenever Jackson was at the other end of the house, but for anyone who has ever had a preschool knows, kids are fast! He happened to walk into my room just as I was holstering the girls the other morning and pointed to my chest and said, "What are those?" I tried to brush it off and say, "That's Mama's chest." Jackson said, "No, Mama. What are those big hangy down thingies?"

After I quit laughing I successfully got the big hangy down thingies put away. Hopefully with the new policy in place, it's going to be one of those "out of sight, out of mind" things with him. I just pray that he doesn't tell his teacher (or the boys in his class)about his Mama's big hangy down thingies. I'd hate to get a note home about that!