Sleep Like This Takes Talent

I’ve noticed that Jeremy has been rather tired lately, and I think we’ve pretty much nailed down the reason. Sometime over the last month or so Jeremy apparently thought that he needed a new hobby, so he decided to take up sleep walking. We're pretty sure it's a side effect of some medication, but it's been interesting to say the least.

And it’s been loads of fun for both of us, as I'm sure you can imagine. Poor Jeremy is just so stinking tired by all of this, and I'm defnitely not sure what to do to help him.

There’s really nothing quite like waking up in the middle of the night in bed by yourself in a dark house and not knowing where your husband is. I know he's somewhere in the house, I just have to find him. So occasionally, maybe two times a week at most since this has started, I’ve been waking up at random times in the middle of the night to an empty bed.

And did I mention that the house is completely dark?

Thankfully, his method of sleep walking doesn’t seem so much, “Get the car keys and go for a joyride while I’m still asleep.” His method is more of, “Get out of the bed and walk to random places in the house and just stand there. And fall back asleep. While he’s still standing.”

Sometimes he even gets tired of just standing around, so he just props up against the wall.

Oh yes, I can assure you that I’ve had much fun with this.

Almost as much fun as I’ve had retelling the story about when we had only been married for a few months and Jeremy woke me up in the middle of the night pointing to the end of the bed and saying, “Get that. Grab it before it falls!” I, of course, had no idea what he was talking about. I said to him (completely playing along because it was just too funny), “I can’t reach it. Can you grab it?” Jeremy said, “Yeah, yeah, I can get the paddle.” He then proceeded to stand up with one leg on the ground and one leg on the bed and started rowing a boat in the middle of our bedroom.

Y’all, I don’t think I have ever laughed so hard in my entire life at my sweet husband.

And with this new talent of his, I’ve definitely had a few more laughs.

So far I’ve found him standing up asleep in the bathroom.
I’ve found him standing up asleep in the kitchen.
I’ve found him standing up asleep in Jackson’s room.
I’ve found him standing up asleep in the living room.

It’s like a narcoleptic version of a Dr. Seuss story.

And it completely confirmed my suspicions about what happened to our old remote control.

But last night, he pulled a new one on me. I woke up and found that he had put the kitchen trash can lid on me while I was sleeping. He, of course, was standing up in the bathroom at the time and swears that he has no recollection of doing it.

I was left wondering, at 2:00 in the morning, if subconsciously he thinks that I’m a trashy woman, or if he's just tired of putting up with some of my garbage.

So with my snoring and his sleep walking, I wonder if we could get a 2-for-1 deal at a sleep study center?